


Admire

by Lindsay_MR



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Free! Eternal Suffering, M/M, Smut, cheesy love, rinharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 14:31:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2471615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindsay_MR/pseuds/Lindsay_MR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Australia, Rin told Haru, "I admire you." What Rin doesn't know is the effect it have taken on Haru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admire

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to be so cheesy but I don't care. What I do care about is what you think can be improved grammatically. Also, constructive feedback will always be appreciated, you are only helping me become a better writer. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate it. :)  
> \- Lindsay

“I admire you.” 

Those words still echo in my mind, days after he confessed. Days after I have found my dream, and days after my feelings were disrupted. Yes, disrupted, never did I feel such a strong emotion.  
It wasn’t frustration.  
It wasn’t sadness.  
It was similar to pain, and similar to ache, similar to passion, but I could not describe it.  
I have been thinking about Rin a lot lately. Whenever I have time to myself, or when I am with the team, or even swimming, his face enters my thoughts.  
“I admire you.”  
What is it? Truth must be exposed.  
I admire him.  
I admire the many components that make him who he is. But as a whole, he someone that leaves me in awe.  
I would never say that to him, of course not. The ego would get to his head. But I think back to when he told me how HE admired me. My heart quivered and my chest constricted.  
To this day, I am dumbfounded by those words. I know he means that he admires my swimming… is that all?  
I submerge my head into the water. I relax in the once hot water of my bath, it was now lukewarm. It was late evening, cloudy, as if it going to rain tonight. I close my eyes, relax as the water takes me far away.  
Rin.  
Why can’t I get you out of my head?  
I hear the door open to my bathroom. Makato said he was going to be out of town this weekend. I rise from the water and glance over to who entered.  
There he was, leaning against the doorway.  
“Rin.”  
“Haru.” He responds.  
I looked at him, my face heating up, I was just thinking of him.  
“For a second I thought you weren’t home, then I called Makato and he said to check the bathroom.” He says as he walked over.  
“What are you doing here?” I composed myself at once, giving him a straight expression.  
“I came to visit, for the weekend, I thought we could swim for the next couple days.” He says, eyeing his bag that was over his shoulder. How can I express to him that I wouldn’t feel comfortable?  
“Why would I want to do that?” I ask. I stand up from the tub and walk out of the bathroom.  
He laughs and follows me to my room. “Come on, why are you like this?” He said light-heartedly.  
“Like what?” I reply. It was quiet for a moment, I was drying off my hair and throw the towel on the chair. I open the blinds to let the little light from the horizon seep in.  
… … … … …  
“Why haven’t you talked to me since we returned from Australia?” He said, the words dense as they fall from his lips.  
I freeze in my position, my back facing him. I looked down. I know exactly why I haven’t talked to you Rin. I just can’t tell you, and I can’t really express it to myself as well.  
“I heard you’re going to Tokyo. I had to hear it from Gou.” He says. “Congratulations.”  
“But…” I heard his fist hit the wall. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!?” He paused. “Am I not close enough to you that you can’t even tell me something as important as this?” I hear it in his voice he is hurt.  
My eyes widen, but my feelings remain hidden. I turn around.  
“Is that all… you care about?” I reply.  
“What?” He says slightly confused.  
“Is that all you care about, my swimming… whether or not you will see me swim?” I try hard to keep my face expressionless.  
He stills. His once angry eyes soften under my words. He drops his bag to the floor and walks up to me.  
“No.” He says quietly. He looks down and yet, I still see his eyes look up at me through the silky strands of maroon.  
“Are you stupid?” He looks at me directly. I reciprocate the eye contact, unable to reply.  
“It’s not just your swimming.”  
“When we were younger, I admired you for who you are… as a person.” He looks away.  
“And…” He finds it difficult to sound the words out but he manages. “I still do, I still admire you… for who you are.”  
I feel my whole body tense, my being engulfed by his new words.  
“Why?” I say suddenly, cutting through the thickness of this moment.  
“Why such words, like they are so easy to say, and as if they don’t trouble me.” His eyes open, looking at me.  
“Haru.”  
“Do you know what you did to me!?” I shout. “Why did you have to say those words…when we were in Australia.” I can’t stop.  
“You say those words, I know what you meant by them, but it kills me to know that it’s not equivalent to what unsaid words I want to say to you.” There. I said something I am unable to change the interpretation to. I still, my heart freezes.  
“Haru…what are you trying to tell me?” Rin said. “Huh!? You say weird things but I never understand!” His face filled with frustration. I can’t say it, I can’t. I grab his wrist violently and place his hand on my bare chest.  
“THIS! This is what I am trying to tell you!” I say. He hand winces at the feeling my chest pounding.  
“This is what you do to me, and when you said those words, you made it worse.” I add.  
He feels my chest for a while but then pulls his hand away. He looks away, I can only stare at his off-glance.  
“So you find my words untrue, is that why you’re mad?” He says.  
“Because they’re not, never for a moment did I ever lie to you about how I felt. How I felt about you… I know admire is a light word. I know it can never fully encompass the complexity of my emotions, the ones I feel for you… but can you understand that that word is an invitation?” He pauses, his knuckles white from clenching his hands into fists.  
“An invitation for what?” I say slowly, processing his words.  
“This.” He says and kisses me on the lips. The intensity was almost overwhelming on my lips, it was a simple kiss and he steps back. The air escapes from my lungs and he looks at me with eyes serious and passionate. I brush my fingertips on the place he kissed me. The ache, the inner turbulence I was feeling for the past days was erased by a simple kiss. It caused me to feel weightless, to feel like I was underwater. That was exactly what it was, I was enveloped, submerged. For too long I was above water, frightened to know what lurked in the sea that is my feelings for Rin. He pushed me in and I never felt freer then now.  
“Rin…” I say, surprised at my own epiphany and his confession of newer feelings.  
“I…I…” I can’t say anything. I really was a fool. I look away, flushed. He was flushed as well. I felt a warm and embracing hand on my jaw. He directs me to face him. He goes for another kiss and I open myself for it. I push my lips against his. It was magnetic, electrifying, my nerves awakened from sad slumber to something hot, stimulating. I hold him, hold him as close to my body as I could. His arms cover me, and his lips devour mine. A desperation within me causes my lips to take his in with more force, for my hands to drag down his clothed back, for my hips to roll. I run my tongue on his shark-like teeth, his tongue entering my mouth and causing a small wrestle of tongues. I feel his hands roam my body, I felt everything with hypersensitivity. A slide of his hand down my side was an orchestra playing Nocturne Op.9 No. 2. I reach for his hair, his soft maroon hair and tousle it.  
I think back to when we were kids, how we would talk to each other, talk about our futures, how he would always pin me down after a playful fight. He was the one made me quit swimming and he was the one that helped me find my dream. I never felt such a strong feeling for someone than now, and only for Rin. He is now taking me to the bed. I fall on my back and he is hovering on top of me.  
I can’t help but smirk.  
“What?” He says.  
“Doesn’t this seem familiar?” I reply. He looks at me for a moment dazed, but a smile replaces it.  
“I do, we used to wrestle and I was always pinning you down.” He says. “It hasn’t changed.”  
“Yes it has.” I respond. I rise my lips to his, we kiss. “We haven’t done that before, have we?” He blushes. He bites his bottom lip and looks at me with want. His hand massaging my stomach. It was a question, a non-verbal question I want to shout yes to. I could only lift my hips to touch him, his eyes widen. He kisses me slowly, I feel his big hand cup my erection through my swim shorts. I tilt my head to toy with his ear with my mouth. As I was just enjoying his hand on me, he stands up. I feel exposed and cold as he separates from me. He stood to take off his clothes. He tried rushing, unsuccessfully, never taking his eyes off of me. As he takes off his sweatpants, I decide to take off my swim shorts, but his hands stop mine.  
“Let me.” He whispers.  
I move my hand to his face, feeling every detail on it. He runs his hand over my clothed erection once more, depriving me of the sensual texture of his hand. His fingers hook the waistband, playing with it. I moan, an unintentional moan but it gets the point across that I wanted the teasing to stop. He bares his teeth and pulls down my swim shorts completely off. My erection is freed and I watch intently. He stands once more, leaving me untouched, he takes off his last article, his underwear. I see he is the same condition as I am. He lingers over me, his face close to mine. I go up to kiss him, any contact would suffice.  
His hand finally touches me where I wanted to be touch, I gasp as he rubs my head, smearing pre-cum all over. I then feel his length on mine. He looks at me, with lips slightly parted, eyes glazed with brewing hunger and hair ruffled. He never looked more beautiful than now, and he was mine. He causes friction between our members and I couldn’t help but run my fingers heavily on his back. I was trying to keep my voice down but with such stimulation, I could not keep quiet. The night was orchestrated with the soft moans and pants escaping our wet pink mouths. He shifted a bit, leaning on one well-muscled arm as the other pleasured the both of us. I winced at the sensation of his member and his hand on me, it was an overwhelming euphoria. I was so close, so close, so little time we had and now I am heading over the edge.  
“Rin… please… sl-slow down.” I embarrassingly say between inappropriate noises. I grab his arm that was balancing him and pushed him on his side. He looked at me bemused but I go in for a messy kiss. I slide my erection on his, slowly rubbing our members together. We were so close to each other, practically exchanging the same dense air of that evening. It was a beautiful sight to see Rin enraptured, his lightly tan skin glowing from the sunset’s radiance. I smelled his scent, even though I have grown used to it, every time I smell it, it is nostalgic and carnal, especially now. I am excited when his warm hands roam down to my buttocks and he gives them a squeeze. He smiles and asks me another non-verbal question. His finger glides over my hole, teasingly, applying a hint of pressure, enough for me to nod a yes. He plants one more kiss on my lips before getting up and turning me on my stomach. I bury my face into the sheets, hiding my embarrassing expressions and flushed face, even though I was flushed in other areas. I was expecting his finger to apply pressure there once more but it was a pleasurable shock to feel the wet flat of his tongue. One lick, and he blows on it, chilling the dampness there, it was strangely erotic and it certainly made my legs wobbly.  
“Again.” I whisper. He looks up at me, surprised by my interest in this. He grabs hold of both my butt cheeks and repeats the process. His tongue slowly sliding up, then he blows cool air. It felt amazing. I lower my bottom-half so my member could romp on the sheets as he continued to play with my delicate senses. His tongue was so cruel to me and when he circled his tongue around my hole, I buried my head into the bed, wanting to cry out how good it feels.  
“Don’t do that.” He simply says, pausing our very intimate session.  
“What?” I say, panting.  
“I want to hear you, I want to know how good I make you feel.” He says. A bit conceited, I thought, but I lift my head to show I agree. He rubs his hands over my buttocks and without mercy, plunges his tongue into me.  
“Ahhhhhhhh!” I cry out. It was absurdly wonderful, I press my member into the sheets more. I was already leaking like crazy, if he continued doing this, I have no hope for lasting long enough.  
His tongue was inside me, darting in and out, circling in a slow manner. It was agonizing how good it felt. It didn’t help either the fact he was sucking on my hole at the same time. I moaned loudly, the neighbors could probably hear me but it did not matter, not at this time, this time I would consider heavenly bliss. As I nearing climax he stops and steps away. I groan, surprised he left me there right at the edge. But my sulk quickly turned to excitement as to see what he will do to me now. I turn over to see he was getting something from his bag. A little bottle of something… hand sanitizer?  
“Lube.” He explains. “It will make it more enjoyable for both you and me.” He says as he pours a small amount on my crack, the cold liquid sends me shivers as it goes down but his fingers go to massage and heat up the foreign liquid. I then felt his index finger inside me, it was strange, but it certainly was satisfying.  
“Tell me… if it hurts, I want you to be prepared.” He said. I felt like I could trust him and I felt like I could tell him if it felt uncomfortable for me. He spent a while using one finger, my body adjusting to it. He slips in another without notice, I felt odd pressure now, but over time it felt pleasurable once more.  
“One more okay?” He says, and in the way he said it, he expects answer.  
“’kay.” I reply. He sticks another finger into me, slowly at first, stilling there for a moment, my body adjusting. He starts penetrating me with his fingers in a twisting motion.  
“How does it feel?” He asks.  
“It feels… good… Rin…” I was starting to rock myself on his fingers. “Rin…rin…” I whisper repeatedly. Drool was covering my chin and my arms were weak. I was in a messy state but I was in pure ecstasy.  
Suddenly, he stops. I feel his hand on my waist, he turns me over on my back and kisses me in such a beastly manner.  
“When you say my name like that, it’s really hard for me to take it this slow.” He confides. His member sliding with mine, he seemed to apply lube to his member as well. I grab his upper arms and look at him with a need.  
“Rin…” I say. He grits his teeth and seems to lose form of any self-restraint. He directs his member into the entrance of my hole. Slowly, he enters me, the feeling of pain, pressure, and pleasure overwhelms me. The feeling was alien. He moans out and puts some of his weight on top of me, our chest pressed against each other.  
“You’re so tight, please relax… Haru.” He says once he was all the way in.  
“I am, you can move now.” I say. His mouth close to mine and we exchange a deep and sweet kiss. One that expressed how much we loved each other. He straightens up and pulls out nearly all the way, then reenters me slowly. He repeats this, he is trying so hard to be slow for me. I grab the back of his neck and look at him in the eyes.  
“Faster, harder, fuck me Rin.” I say. He looks away, blushing from what I just said. He buries his head into the nook of my neck and begins to thrust into me with more force. I moan out loudly, startling even myself.  
“Are you okay?” Rin asks quietly into my ear.  
“Yes… Please, don’t….stop.” I reply. He continue his deep thrusts into me, each one sending a shock of pleasure. His face is still buried in my neck, and he takes advantage and decides to suck on the skin there, leaving bruises. We were so close to each other, my member was being rubbed by his toned abdomen and how it felt amazing. I felt tears forming and tried to hide my face. Rin wasn’t fucking me, he was making love to me. It was in the way we felt so magnetic and as if we were one. He couldn’t be any more close than now and he thrusting into me, caring for how I was feeling.  
“I love you.” I say. It slipped naturally from my lips and I did not regret not one letter from that sentence. It was sort of a confession for him and me. I felt his body stiffen at my words. My heart stops. Have I gone too far?  
He looks up at me, his eyes widen with glistening joy.  
“I love you too.” He replies. He gives me a peck on the lips and goes up to my ear, his tongue slipping up and down the back of my ear. I let out a moan enclose my arms around his back. He suddenly starts moving faster and deep into me.  
“Riiin.” I gasp, it was an amazing feeling and I felt myself climaxing.  
“Haru…” He exclaims. My panting is loud and fast, my loins are in a smoldering inferno and it was one look into his intense eyes that made me go over the edge. I release on both our stomach and sigh. My body goes limp for a few seconds but I realize his movements are becoming erratic. He says my name once more and releases inside of me. My climax lasts longer because of it. He lies on top of me and kisses me. It was tender and it was so innocent the way he kisses me, like we didn’t just do dirty things.  
We were side by side when the sun rises, the clouds went away, but not quite. Naked and sprawled on the bed looking out the window. I played with his hair and his hands roamed my body. If only time could stop here and I can forever be with him.  
“When are you leaving for Australia?” I ask in the mist of our glow. There was silence for a long time and he finally answered.  
“In a week.” He pauses. “When do you leave for Tokyo?” I grab his hand and entwine mine in it.  
“Two weeks.” We stay there in silence.  
“We won’t see each other for a while.” He says. His voice is barely heard but the message struck a chord deep within me. I clench his hand. I shift and turn my body to face his.  
“Don’t go.” I say. “Be with me for this week.”  
He looks at me surprised. “Haru.” His surprise gradually turns into a smile and he kisses me.  
“Of course. And when we go to our schools… we will wait for each other.” He draws our bodies closer. “Promise me that you’ll wait, for the day when we can be together again.”  
“I promise, three years or a century, I will wait for you Rin.” My face serious as always.  
Rin blushes and takes his eyes away from mine. I kiss him on the cheek and put his arm at my waist. The last image I saw before drifting off to sleep was Rin looking down at me. I never felt warmer, more at peace, more in love than now, and just like a puzzle, I fit in Rin’s arms perfectly.  
This summer will always be eternal to me. The feeling will never wear, never fade.  
The whole week we never separated, and never felt the need to. It was like the world was inhabited by only Rin and I, and that was when the world was closest to heaven. I called Makato saying that he shouldn’t visit me until next week, and somehow, there was no need for an explanation, he said yes and hanged up.  
He left early morning, right before the sun was about to rise. We didn’t cry. We weren’t bitter.  
I kissed him once more and it was time that had force our lips to separate. No words were said. We knew what we felt, we knew that our love will continue and this is not goodbye.  
I saw him walk down the street towards the train station, the one person I love leaving for who knows how long. When he was no longer in sight, I went inside.  
My heart still swelled with emotion, it wasn’t empty, though I do miss him already, I still feel his love imprinted on my skin.  
Rin never left, he will always be a part of me.


End file.
